This isn’t much of a surprise as I come from a long line of big headed people. My mom always used to placate her children by telling us things like “The bigger the head, the bigger the brains!” This is a theory I still cling to desperately – please don’t do any research and prove my mother wrong.
Actually I’ve never been ashamed of the size of my head. Even during our courtship when Dave looked at me in complete horror as I couldn’t quite squeeze on his father’s cowboy hat. I thought to myself “My head is big. So what?”
Well, my loyalty to the size of my head has come to an abrupt halt as of today. I’ve had it with my big head.
The problem is, when you have a disproportionately large head it is difficult to estimate how much space is required to move your head past a given object. I tend to dramatically underestimate the size of my head when moving it from one place to the next. Translation: I’ve banged my head into just about everything out there. As Dave explained to me today “It’s like you are trying to navigate an apple of a head – when really you’ve got a watermelon up there.”
Head injuries are common for me, but 3 in particular stand out in my memory:
1. Dave and I were hiking to a waterfall on our honeymoon. There was a low hanging branch that Dave elegantly ducked under. I walked my big old head right into it. The impact of the collision put me flat on my back.
2. After picking a Q-tip up off the bathroom floor, I stood up square into the corner of our hanging wall cabinet.
Yes folks. That is a solid wood cabinet that I dented, with my head. You can still see the indentation on my forehead if you look closely.
3. This very morning I was at the library returning books. After I was done, I managed to open the car door right into my head. 
This gash bled like crazy. Blood got all over my clothes, purse, car keys, seat, etc. I was pressing a piece of notebook paper against my head, while blood ran down my face, trying to drive home with the help of only one hand and one eye.
I know. It doesn't make any sense. How does one go about opening a car door into their head? Dave asked me this question multiple times and I just don’t have an answer for you. But if it was going to happen to some one's head, we knew it would be mine.
Sadly - the fact that my head really IS too big is not the only realization I've come to today. In looking at the picture above I now see that my eyebrows are quite large & unruly, and my freckles are so light they look like a rash. Who knew?
The good news is I ran my first 1/2 marathon yesterday during a 42 degree downpour of rain. While the run was actually great fun, I'm now sick, I've lost my voice, my knees ache, and my legs are sore. Oh, and the gash on my head hurts.
I'm going back to bed.
12 comments:
You deserve a nice, long nap in the sun. Have fun at the game tonight.
Are you sure this isn't an elaborate hoax to deflect the fact that Dave is beating you?
JK. You should just get a nice-looking skate helmet and wear it around all day.
I would go back to bed too. Congrats on your 1/2 marathon
Ok, the image of you holding a piece of notebook paper up to your head to try and stop the bleeding is hilarious. I laughed outloud. The injury itself is not funny but notebook paper solution is.
okay i must admit i was laughing a little bit too as i read your post. i feel TERRIBLE for you though. i'm glad i'm not the only one who can't walk. i'm surprised you got out of the house this morning... i hope you stayed in bed ALL day!
Often times when we are running I have to point out to Carrie cracks or bumps in the road otherwise she is likely to trip. Her huge head is in perfect proportion to her unwieldy feet.
It is true though - her huge head has a huge brain. She is far smarter than I am.
I love you even with all the scars on your forehead.
I am so sorry, but that is a really funny story. I can just see you trying to drive while holding a piece of paper to your head. I am sure it hurt though. Do you have enough Tylenol?
Trav - did Dave put you up to that comment? He is always trying to get me to wear helmets in non-helmet situations.
Yes, looking back it really was quite funny. I think I even laughed a few times yesterday...(in between tears that is.)
ohh carrie.
you are tooo funny.
and I feel for you with the head size.
My dad always said, "You've just got that big ol' Crane head..be proud of it!"
whatever that means...
we sure do have big heads. the comments i get most about baby oz are:
1. what a cute baby!
2. look at his giant white head! man, that's a big head! (for the record, it's only in the 75%. my nephew's heads were off the charts).
i got a similar wound on my belly when i was pregnant. i slammed the dryer door right into it. of course with the belly, it had actually changed sizes. i would think by now you'd be used to that big noggin!
Oz could be Michael Chiklis' stunt double.
I'm glad my kids (and me)are not the only big headed ones out there. We cling to your moms big brain theory as well, (please don't research it). At least we don't have tiny heads, thats good.
Hope you feel better soon!
Post a Comment