This isn’t much of a surprise as I come from a long line of big headed people. My mom always used to placate her children by telling us things like “The bigger the head, the bigger the brains!” This is a theory I still cling to desperately – please don’t do any research and prove my mother wrong.
Actually I’ve never been ashamed of the size of my head. Even during our courtship when Dave looked at me in complete horror as I couldn’t quite squeeze on his father’s cowboy hat. I thought to myself “My head is big. So what?”
Well, my loyalty to the size of my head has come to an abrupt halt as of today. I’ve had it with my big head.
The problem is, when you have a disproportionately large head it is difficult to estimate how much space is required to move your head past a given object. I tend to dramatically underestimate the size of my head when moving it from one place to the next. Translation: I’ve banged my head into just about everything out there. As Dave explained to me today “It’s like you are trying to navigate an apple of a head – when really you’ve got a watermelon up there.”
Head injuries are common for me, but 3 in particular stand out in my memory:
1. Dave and I were hiking to a waterfall on our honeymoon. There was a low hanging branch that Dave elegantly ducked under. I walked my big old head right into it. The impact of the collision put me flat on my back.
2. After picking a Q-tip up off the bathroom floor, I stood up square into the corner of our hanging wall cabinet.
Yes folks. That is a solid wood cabinet that I dented, with my head. You can still see the indentation on my forehead if you look closely.
3. This very morning I was at the library returning books. After I was done, I managed to open the car door right into my head.
This gash bled like crazy. Blood got all over my clothes, purse, car keys, seat, etc. I was pressing a piece of notebook paper against my head, while blood ran down my face, trying to drive home with the help of only one hand and one eye.
I know. It doesn't make any sense. How does one go about opening a car door into their head? Dave asked me this question multiple times and I just don’t have an answer for you. But if it was going to happen to some one's head, we knew it would be mine.
Sadly - the fact that my head really IS too big is not the only realization I've come to today. In looking at the picture above I now see that my eyebrows are quite large & unruly, and my freckles are so light they look like a rash. Who knew?
The good news is I ran my first 1/2 marathon yesterday during a 42 degree downpour of rain. While the run was actually great fun, I'm now sick, I've lost my voice, my knees ache, and my legs are sore. Oh, and the gash on my head hurts.
I'm going back to bed.