Dave has a lot of talents, skills, and good qualities.

Putting his stuff away is not one of them. I'm not sure why, but Dave seems almost incapable of putting his stuff away.

When he takes off his shoes he lines them up neatly just outside his closet. Don't ask me why he can't push them an extra 6 inches so they are actually inside his closet, where they belong.

One of Dave's favorite tricks is draping stuff over my office chair which is 1 foot from his closet. He knows I can't stand stuff on my office chair, as that is where I work. So putting something there is a guarantee I will put it away for him. On a daily basis I find either a dress shirt draped over the back of my chair (after work) or a wet towel from his morning shower (before work).

But this my friends is an all new low. I was seriously appalled when I walked into my office last night.

Are you kidding me? Let's analyze this stack of crap.

On the bottom: an already worn long sleeved shirt that should have been put in the dirty clothes.

In the middle: A stack of CLEAN, folded laundry balanced on the top of the previously mentioned dirty shirt. As a reminder - his closet is with-in arms length of this chair. This stack of pants could have easily been placed on the proper shelf of so named closet. And yet, he has decided it makes far more sense to try to precariously balance his clothes on the BACK of my chair?

On the top: yet another worn, dirty long sleeved shirt daintily balanced on the pile of growing insanity. You know it took some serious concentration to lay this last item without knocking over the tower.

What the heck is going on? Is he trying to drive me crazy? Does he think this is a game of Tetris? What on earth is going through his mind as he delicately adds something to the stack?

You had a nice life my dear husband. I played along with your games. I put your stuff away with minimal complaint. But you have taken things too far. This is war. Good luck trying to find these items when you next need them.


Christina said...

That is hilarious! So where did you hide them? :)

dave said...

I wish you tell them why I have to go into your office to change (so as not to disturb the beauty sleep). I wish you would show a picture of my closet that is literally the size of a big shoe box (while yours is so big you could fit a spare fridge in there - she has asked me if she can get a mini fridge for her closet(don't ask me why)). Or the fact that after working two days straight without so much as a 10 minute break to build you a new bathroom and tredging through raw sewage to fix the main sewer line I have to make your dinner, clean it up, do the laundry, tuck you into bed, and get you a glass of water.

So paaaalease forgive me for stacking my pants on the back of your chair. Those were the clean things I seperated from the laundry hamper before doing your wash.

I don't wear those pants too much anymore now that I got some new fancy pants.

Good thing we love each other.

carrie said...

oh little dave, I do love you.

You are a wonderful husband. but, i will have to punish you for this comment. Luickly I have 3 hours before you will be home from work - plenty of time to completely clear out your closet.

rule #1 - don't mess with the lady who works from home.

Yah Yah said...

Wow, you guys should offer to do a reality TV show. You could call it "Temptation Closet". With the writer's strike still going on you could really make a killing.

Actually, my first thought regarding the shoes was also that Little Dave's closet is not only 3 doorways away from his room BUT also the size of 1/3 of a Lewis head [Lewises generally have larger heads]. My next thought was how he got that stack to balance on your chair? Even Howard Rourke would be amazed.

My final thought is where did the "tredging through raw sewage" take place? Is this a real or pretend story??

Ashley said...

I can totally relate!!! JD hangs his towel on our bedroom door, also about 5 steps away from the bathroom. I say to him, "will you hang your towel up?" he says "it is, just on the door." At night before getting into bed, he takes off his clothes and leaves them by the side of the bed thinking i wont see them bc his side of the bed is closer to the wall and he thinks i never go over there. I am right there with you, i dont get it and i think it will be an endless battle.

Ashley said...
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carrie said...

Ashley - Dave pulls that exact same bed trick at night with me too! Every morning there is a T shirt and pair of gym shorts by his side of the bed!

Christina - I'll have to tell you where the hidden clothes are in person. ;)

Laura - some of Dave's story is real, some is pretend. My closet is NOT that much bigger than his, and I have never wanted a fridge in it. He changes in the office b/c that is where his clothes are, not b/c of beauty sleep. Our sewer line did back up this weekend, but it was never so bad that you had to walk through it. However, Dave did work all weekend on the bathroom, make dinner, clean it up, tuck me in bed, and bring me a glass of water. Yes - he is a good man.

jendoop said...

Isn't marriage fun!

I have a friend who had a silent battle with her husband over a dirty sock. He was the clean freak and asked her to pick it up one night. She said if it bothered him so much he should pick it up.

It was three days later when he picked up the sock.

sara said...

as my friend ashley says, every time i make a comment about how i am picking up travis's socks AGAIN, "well, at least we're not picking up beer bottles!" there is a lot to be said for that.

if i hadn't just downloaded my pictures off my camera, i would take one of the massive pile of clothes he's got hidden behind our closet door right now. on top? the hanna andersson PJs!

and carrie: i totally think you should get a mini fridge in your closet. that would be the coolest.

my family said...

I love it! Can you make me laugh any harder?? My Dave is very good at not putting things away, as well. It drives me nuts! When things do make it to the closet they are usually tossed on the floor for me to walk around. When I tried to threaten him that he couldn't keep his ski bag in the closet until he cleaned up the rest of it, he said fine and left it out to annoy me even more. It's just part of our loving husbands. - I love you guys! - Becca