Thank you!

Thank you to my wonderful in-laws for letting us, once again, crash their Kauai vacation. We are the biggest tag alongs in the history of the world. They were wonderful hosts - so fun to be with, and so quick to do the activities Dave and I preferred. We had such a great time with you guys.

The picture above is after they treated us to the all you can resort buffet including prime rib, king crab legs, shrimp, sushi & chocolate fountain! (Yes, there was a salad bar, and no I did not have one drop of salad. I reserved all stomach capacity for protein and sugar.) I'm pretty sure I ate at least 2 full pineapples dipped in dark chocolate. I ate myself so sick that I slept horribly that night, and couldn't eat for another 20 hours. And yes, I would do it again in a heart beat.

Turns out eating was quite a theme this trip. We ate out every...single...meal. And oh it was so good! To emphasize the dedication to eating, here is a picture of my father-in-law's breakfast one day: That's right - rice, hamburger, eggs & gravy - and you thought I was joking! Ok so this isn't exactly what I had for breakfast...but I did have 2 enormous macadamia nut pancakes, lathered in butter & syrup.

When we weren't eating, we tried to burn calories so we could rally an appetite for the next meal. We ran, walked, hiked, swam (including a game of freeze tag), did lots of reading by pools & beaches (that burned at least 3 calories) and did some cliff jumping & rope swinging.

It was a great time. Thanks again for sharing your vacation with us!

Feats of Strength - Na Pali Coast

When Dave desires, he is able to accomplish almost anything he wants through sheer will. While he may not always have the training or talent to succeed at a particular challenge, he usually has enough will power to pull it off.

Usually when Dave decides to exercise his will and accomplish what I will now refer to as a "feat of strength," it is for something really random he thought up on the spot, while bored. He likes to do these things because, well, why not?

Recent examples include:

• Bringing all 18 bags of groceries into the house in one trip
• Swimming across a huge "no swim" lake in the middle of our local park without being seen or caught
• Making it from one end of a child's playground to another without touching the ground, while in business casual attire

In short, Dave would make the ultimate fear factor contender.

Well, Dave decided there was a new, more intense challenge he wanted on his feats of strength resume. He wanted to run the Na Pali Coast while we were in Kauai.

I don't know how much you know about the Na Pali Coast, but let me assure you it is NOT a run. It is an intense and tricky hike comprised of a 22 mile trek into a beach (& out) that can only be accessed via one narrow trail. In other words if you break your leg on mile 8 too bad. You are going to have to drag yourself out b/c no vehicle or helicopter can get to you, and there is no cell phone coverage to call for help. No 2 steps of the hike are alike. The terrain is made up of slippery rocks, tree roots, sand, and steep cliffs. Over the course of the 22 miles you climb 10,000 feet (going up and down 1000 foot cliffs over and over). You could literally trip, and fall right off the side of a cliff 400 feet in the ocean below. Here are some shots of the trail:

No one in their right mind would try to run this. Bingo - just what Dave needed to hear to want to go for it.

All joking aside, I was pretty freaked out that he wanted to do this. I was really worried something would happen to him. I imagined him stranded in the middle of the trail with a broken leg, during a rainstorm, dying of hypothermia. Or worse yet - tripping, and falling to his demise in the ocean/cliffs below. This just isn't something people do, at least not in one day. In fact the tour book recommends hiking it, but over the course of SIX DAYS with a GUIDE!!

I wasn't the only one worried. My dad got wind of his plans and asked Dave, from his hospital bed, to promise that he would not attempt this run. My dad isn't the type to issue requests...so this one carried a punch. Dave stayed silent a few minutes and then said very softly "...I...can't...promise...that..." COME ON! How do you deny a man's wish from a hospital bed? Even the big guns couldn't diswade Dave.

But, per normal the kid came through.

Here is Dave before the run...

Due mostly to my level of stress he hauled with him the following in that tiny little backpack:

Two ace bandages, a water filter, chlorine drops, a walkie talkie, socks, camera, 70 oz of water, a collapsible hiking stick, 3 power bars, 2 cliff bars, athletic tape, athsma inhaler, compass, whistle, and a long sleeved shirt. He actually filtered and drank 230 oz of water in addition to the 70 oz he started with.

Past the first 2 miles where most hiking tourists turn around, he said the trail was pretty isolated. But he did run into a few interesting people. Like the 23 year old girl who hiked by wearing nothing but shorts. He also happened upon a man sleeping naked along the beach 11 miles in.

Apparently the run/hike was amazing - the views indescribable. In one day he saw mountains, valleys, dessert, jungle, cliffs, coasts lines, beaches, flowers...and hippies. He took all the pictures featured in this post, and here are a few more for your viewing pleasure:






Dave felt good the whole way until mile 18 when he hit a wall (figurative, not literal). He started to feel sick to his stomach. The thought of another power bar made him queasy, and the warm water on his back just intensified the queasiness. So he started picking guavas off trees and sucking on them which seemed to help.

He tried resting, but when he would resume his run he felt twice as bad. So he pressed forward. My favorite quote was when he said:

"Then I started seeing Texans on the trail with their big gulps of diet coke and knew I was close b/c they couldn't be far from the trail head."

He made it back 45 minutes after our appointed meeting time, and I was very, VERY glad to see him.

He immediately took off his backpack, sweat drenched shirt, baseball cap, socks, shoes and headed for the nearest beach. He collapsed into the water and laid there for about 10 minutes. Then crawled onto the beach and rolled around in the sand for another 20 minutes. He said the sand felt really good.

After burning probably 9,000 calories we figured he could use some food. So we packed into the car and headed for dinner in Hanalei. As we waited for our order to come, I could see Dave's face get progressively whiter and whiter. He ordered a guava juice. When the waitress brought it, he said "come on guava do your trick." But he could only get down a little bit. Finally his minimal talking completely stopped. He took one bite of rice and had to run out of the restaurant. He threw up outside right by the entrance (and balcony where we were eating)...I'm sure the restaurant was really happy for the endorsement. He decided to go sit in the car while we finished our dinner. I went to check on him mid meal - and found him laying in the car with the heat going full blast. (note we are in Hawaii, the land of 86 degrees.) He looked pretty weak, but seemed to feel a little better. When I asked if there was anything I could do for him he said "Yes. Can you make sure when they pack up my fish tacos to go they include the hot sauce?"

Classic Dave.

After some gingerale, Dave started to feel a lot better. Back at the hotel he was able to eat some rice and beans and then he slept for 10 hours straight. In the morning he felt fine, just a little sore. He had his left over fish tacos for breakfast and then suggested we go on a run.

I love this man.

So, that is the story of Dave running the Na Pali coast. I like to tease him a lot, but I have to say I was seriously impressed that he accomplished this goal. I hiked 4 miles of this trail while he was running it, and was totally wiped out upon my return. I can not imagine tacking on another 18 miles, or going any faster than I did. I'm proud to be married to such a rock star!

Stash?

On Saturday, Travis announced he would be shaving the burly beard he grew the entire time the kids and I were in Colorado. When he came down, he was sporting this sweet mustache, which I told him he had to keep for a week.

The best part about the stash was when the guests started arriving to C's party. I introduced him to one of the mothers for the first time, and I know exactly what she was thinking. "Wow, I didn't know Sara was married to a gay cop from the 70's!"

Running Attire

I just went for a jog around my neighborhood park.

I ran by an average sized, mid thirty year old, on a jog, alone, in a cheerleading outfit.

I just thought someone else should know.

Constipated

As many of you know, S has been having some "potty" issues for a year or so now. So there's quite a bit of talk about constipation around our house, but it's probably not a word most 7 years old throw around.

Today she was asked to give the scripture in Primary. She was very excited and parlayed it into more of a talk, giving lots of background information about the story. Then she got to the scripture, which she read (nearly) perfectly: Genesis 41: 29-30. "Behold there come seven years of great plenty throughout all the land of Egypt; And there shall arise after them seven years of famine; and all the plenty shall be forgotten in the land of Egypt; and the famine shall CONSTIPATE (instead of consume) the land."

I was up at the microphone with her, to help if needed. I totally lost it and was trying to not let the kids see how hard I was laughing, but the tears were flowing. Luckily, only the adults caught her mistake, so most were able to control their laughs. She really needs to learn to read more than the first three letters of a word!

Krypto VS. Batman

Today was C’s 5th b-day party. For a variety of reasons (we’ve been gone for 5 weeks this summer, I have a new baby, I’m exhausted, it’s bloody hot here) I decided to keep it simple, unlike the Krypto party I threw in April. I had completely OVER planned the Krypto party... I spent gobs of time & money and overall, I wouldn’t say it was a huge hit. Most of the kids didn’t even want to do the activities I had spent hours preparing.

So for the Batman party, we set up our slip-n-slide and an old blow up pool left over from C’s 3rd b-day party. I only invited 6 kids, and one couldn’t come, so all together there were 7 kids (2 of which were mine). It was a really manageable number, and they had a blast for the first hour sliding and playing with water balloons and the mini water guns I gave everyone. Then we went on a Batman “mission”, which seriously took me 3 minutes to plan last night. It was a really easy treasure hunt, but at each location they had to do “training” to become super heroes. The training was things like push ups, running up and down a slide, sneaking softly down the stairs, jumping jacks, etc. I couldn’t believe how well that activity went over; they LOVED it. It took up a lot of time, too... about 25 minutes. One of the kids kept saying over and over, “This is AWESOME!” I felt like a rock star. The very last clue led them up to the attic, where a box with a Batman mask and 3 other things (a disc shooter, a glove thing, and a dart shooter) waited for each kid. I decided to get one big, nice prize rather than the bag of crap I usually give out (and always end up throwing away 2 days after the party). It was a huge hit.

Then we ate cupcakes. The only faux pas I made was accidentally buying those trick candles, which didn’t go over well with the birthday boy. I had to coax him back to the kitchen from his hiding spot in the living room... totally traumatized him, apparently. After the cupcakes we did a pull string pinata. I had decided to bypass the pinata for this party, since in my mind it’s a lot of expense and bother without much payoff, but C was devastated yesterday when I told him there wouldn’t be a pinata, so Travis took them today to buy one.

Most of the kids left at 5, but the Palmers had journeyed up from Brooklyn so they stayed and watched Pokeman with us and had dinner, and then went outside for water balloon fun part deux. They left at 9, and I just put my two down... they are beat. And the very best part of the day was as I was putting C’s pajamas on him, he said (totally unprompted, I might add), “Thank you for having that party for me, Mom.”

See you later

Dave and I are off to paradise. Catch you in 8 days...

The Yard

When Dave returns home from work the first thing he usually does is take his daily tour of the yard. He slips into something more comfortable (flip flops), and slowly strolls around our yard for about an hour. I see him bending, looking, and touching stuff - but I can never really figure out what he is doing. Our yard is really small and I just can't imagine what would require that level of maintenance, especially since on Saturdays Dave usually dedicates a good 4 hours to yard beautification with all the major tools you typically see used on a yard - mower, edger, weed whacker, blower, etc.

There were 2 new additions that I noticed in our backyard this past week that confirm my suspicions that Dave has officially run out of things to do in "the yard." But, he loves being in the yard so much he finds things to do.

(Dave and Carrie walking through the backyard)

Carrie: Wow Dave, that hanging pot I killed at the beginning of the summer looks so great. I can’t believe you were able to nurse it back to health.
Dave: I know, it looks pretty good.
Carrie: Did you see the new yellow flowers growing in it? I love them. They look really nice with all the pink.
Dave: (Silence)
Carrie: Did you hear what I said about the yellow flowers?
Dave: Are you making a joke?
Carrie: No
Dave: Those are silk flowers. I stuck them in the plant to make it look better.

(Dave calling to Carrie from outside - Carrie is standing in the kitchen)

Dave: Carrie don’t eat the peanut butter out here
Carrie: What?
Dave: Don’t eat the peanut butter out on the back steps
Carrie: Why would I eat peanut butter out on our back steps?
Dave: No. There IS peanut butter on our back steps, and don’t eat it.
Carrie: You think there is a chance I would lick up random peanut butter that I find outside on the ground?
Dave: Just don’t eat it ok?
Carrie: Why?
Dave: Because it will kill you.
Carrie: Why is there peanut butter on our back steps that could kill me?
Dave: Because I took some rat poisoning, mixed it with peanut butter, and put it on our back steps.
Carrie: To kill rats?
Dave: To kill squirrels
Carrie: Why are you trying to kill squirrels?
Dave: Because I don’t like them hanging around our back yard

So is Dave an attentive gardener? Yes, certainly. But don't you sort of think he is bordering on the line of crazy old man? I mean - supplementing our backyard with silk foliage? Referring to squirrels as a reckless gang of teenagers looking to cause trouble? It is only a matter of time before our neighbor’s cat turns up missing or dead from the peanut butter concoction. Then you can add cat killer to the list.

There have been several times when we have been mid conversation in the house when Dave glances out the window and then takes off sprinting. I've come to learn this means he's spotted a squirrel on our property and is off to chase it, throw rocks at it, and/or yell at it.

As I watch him through the window run around like a crazy man - I can't help but picture him 40 years older, with a broom in hand, and robed only his underwear and black socks. Dave is going to make such a fantastic crazy old man. I love that these are the antics of my 28 year old husband. I can't wait to see what 68 has in store for us.

Death by pizza crust

The devoted lewisgirls readers will remember Shark Boy and Lava Girl (http://lewisgirls.blogspot.com/2007/02/shark-boy-and-lava-girl.html) where I talked about how impossible it was to keep a goldfish alive. Well, we managed to luck out and get the most invincible goldfish ever. I had left town, completely forgetting to find someone to take care of it while we were gone. We've been through so many goldfish by now, we had given up on naming them, but I think at one point S said his name was Sara, so we'll just go with that.

I remembered Sara 1.5 weeks into our vacation. I was actually a little happy, since S had lost interest in feeding Sara, and with a new baby I didn't need anything else on my plate. I asked our next door neighbor to go over and flush her down, and was shocked to get an email saying that when they went over, the fish was alive and kicking. So her daughter took care of the fish until she had to leave for EFY. By then, Trav was back, and brought the fish home but couldn't find the fish food, so he decided to feed it some of his pizza crust (you can see the crust in the foreground of the photo).

That night we discussed our options: Trav was heading into the city for work, and most likely wouldn't be back for a week or two to take care of the fish. We were in Colorado indefinitely. I again suggested flushing it, but Trav couldn't bear the thought. So we decided early the next morning he would go down and release Sara into the Bronx river. A much more humane death, I'm sure!

The next morning he woke up, and prepared for Sara's emancipation. When he went to get her, she was belly up. If I had know, I would have fed her pizza crust a few months ago!

The need for speed

As if trying to convince me to buy a dog isn’t enough, Dave has decided to launch an all new, high pressure sales campaign. This new campaign involves purchasing something, ANYTHING, with 2 wheels and a motor. I think Dave would really like a Harley (thanks in part to our good friend’s recent purchase…Darn you Jared!), but Dave would probably be just as ecstatic if I consented to the purchase of a used 1980s dirt bike.

Dave actually told me a story a few months back about how every Christmas, as a little boy, each minute of his day was totally absorbed with the hope and faith that maybe this year was the year Santa would bring him a dirt bike. He would go out of his way to be a good little boy – wash the dishes, put his toys away, help old ladies across the street, etc. And as he lay in bed each night the excitement and hope of a dirt bike under the tree would overwhelm him to the point that it would take him hours to fall asleep. Sadly his Christmas wish never came true; Santa never did bring little Dave a dirt bike even though it was the only thing on his wish list for many, many years. I swear I saw a lone tear fall down his cheek as he concluded this story.

This man is killing me.

Why do Dave’s demands always have to be so life changing (dog) and/or life threatening (dirt bike)? And why do they have to be SO expensive? Why can’t my husband really, really want a new pair of pants? Or, maybe a fancy electric tooth brush? I would be more than happy to let Dave buy ANY electric tooth brush out there (within reason of course).

Well, Jared & Christina (our Harley owning friends) had us over to dinner a few Sundays ago. What started out as an innocent dinner quickly escalated into a high pressure sales pitch from my dear husband. I’m pretty sure Dave orchestrated the dinner invite just to get me within arms length of the Harley. Harleys, I now realize, have a certain power. The closer you are to a Harley the more influence it has over you. As you approach a Harley you find yourself fighting an overwhelming urge to stroke the bike. And if you actually sit down on one, the battle is won. Your will is now its command.

After dinner I found myself being encouraged to take a ride with our friend. I’m not going to lie. I really didn’t want to. There were a lot of thoughts going through my head – most of them involved death, limb loss, and/or dismemberment. But finally I conceded to a short, slow, ride around the block.

You would have thought I was going to battle based on the demands I put on my friend Christina:

• "Can I borrow some sweats? I don’t want my skirt flying all over the place"
• "I tend to get really cold. Can I also borrow a sweatshirt? Just incase it rains…or snows...you never know."
• "Um…now that I think about it flip flops can’t be a good idea. What if some huge piece of asphalt gets kicked up by a car and severs one of my toes? Can I borrow some shoes…actually make that boots, and some socks?"
• "I’m also somewhat attached to my eyes, any chance you have some goggles I could borrow? Yea...I guess sunglasses will work."
• "I’m definitely going to need to borrow a helmet. Is this helmet pretty strong? Does it have a good crash rating?"

After TOTALLY disrobing and putting on everything in Christina’s closet, I got on the Harley with Jared. Here we are:

I look happy, but trust me I wasn’t. I was terrified. And even at 28 years old all I could think was “My mom is going to kill me.”

But then, the power of the Harley started to work its magic over me. In less than 10 seconds my fear was totally gone and I heard myself saying things like:

“Let’s take this hog on the freeway!”
“Can't you go any faster?”
“I don’t suppose you're going to let me drive this are you?”
“How much do these bikes sell for again?”

As we got in the car to head home, Dave looked at me expectantly and said “so what did you think?” I paused for a minute and said “I really liked it.” A few more seconds passed and he asked “So...do you think you want to get one?”

But at that point we were already a couple miles from the Harley and its power over me had begun to weaken considerably.

Better luck next time Dave.

Danny

Some of you may think Danny is the cute little bloke in the blue onesie pictured above. I mean, look at that little guy. Don't you just want to kiss him? He is definitely cute enough to warrant a post. However, if you know anything about this blog, you know this post is not about the child. I mean, why would we talk about a child when we can talk about a dog?

Yes, meet Danny, the original dog in law.

As you will recall, last month I featured two of my newest dog in laws in the great dog debate. Well, in doing so, I completely forgot the feelings of poor little Danny. It only makes sense that Danny, the first dog I've ever had a relationship with, might feel left out for not being featured in the post. (Translation, Danny's owner, Chris, is feeling slighted.)

SO...without any further adieu, I would like everyone to take a moment to get to know Danny. He is a dog. And he is a good dog. I don't know a lot of dogs, but what I know of Danny I really like. He is honest, trustworthy, and extremely loyal (especially to his tennis balls). And if that doesn't impress you, does it help that he can fit 3 of those tennis balls in his mouth at the same time?

While he isn't going to win any Olympic medals (after all when he gets into a car he puts his front paws up and then waits for you to lift his butt into the car) he is a sweet dog. His little sister, who happens to be a real child, could rip his ear right off and he would just sit there pleasantly, smiling.

So there you go. Cheers for Danny!

So are we good now Chris?

Look at what I found in my mother's closet

Yes, folks, they are detachable shoulder pads... so you can add shoulder pads to any outfit you choose. Most of you probably threw yours away about 20 years ago, but not big K Lewis. We’ve been cleaning out her closet and this is just one of many treasures I have come across. More to follow... (if she allows her FIVE sock drawers to be photographed).

You paid how much for those lollipops?

While vacationing in Colorado, we went to one of our favorite places to blow money, Ocean Journey. We paid 30 bucks to get in, 6 dollars to park, and $2.50 for S to climb a coconut tree. Then I got talked into these lollipops, which I thought were $2 each. Imagine my shock when I found out they were actually $4 each! Let’s hope they last the rest of our trip here.

As we were driving home, C handed me his with only about 1 inch eaten off. I said, “We’ll put it in a safe place at Nana’s house so you can have more later.” His reply was: “It’s a good thing Dad’s not here. He’d try to eat the whole thing.” Truer words were never spoken.