The Yard

When Dave returns home from work the first thing he usually does is take his daily tour of the yard. He slips into something more comfortable (flip flops), and slowly strolls around our yard for about an hour. I see him bending, looking, and touching stuff - but I can never really figure out what he is doing. Our yard is really small and I just can't imagine what would require that level of maintenance, especially since on Saturdays Dave usually dedicates a good 4 hours to yard beautification with all the major tools you typically see used on a yard - mower, edger, weed whacker, blower, etc.

There were 2 new additions that I noticed in our backyard this past week that confirm my suspicions that Dave has officially run out of things to do in "the yard." But, he loves being in the yard so much he finds things to do.

(Dave and Carrie walking through the backyard)

Carrie: Wow Dave, that hanging pot I killed at the beginning of the summer looks so great. I can’t believe you were able to nurse it back to health.
Dave: I know, it looks pretty good.
Carrie: Did you see the new yellow flowers growing in it? I love them. They look really nice with all the pink.
Dave: (Silence)
Carrie: Did you hear what I said about the yellow flowers?
Dave: Are you making a joke?
Carrie: No
Dave: Those are silk flowers. I stuck them in the plant to make it look better.

(Dave calling to Carrie from outside - Carrie is standing in the kitchen)

Dave: Carrie don’t eat the peanut butter out here
Carrie: What?
Dave: Don’t eat the peanut butter out on the back steps
Carrie: Why would I eat peanut butter out on our back steps?
Dave: No. There IS peanut butter on our back steps, and don’t eat it.
Carrie: You think there is a chance I would lick up random peanut butter that I find outside on the ground?
Dave: Just don’t eat it ok?
Carrie: Why?
Dave: Because it will kill you.
Carrie: Why is there peanut butter on our back steps that could kill me?
Dave: Because I took some rat poisoning, mixed it with peanut butter, and put it on our back steps.
Carrie: To kill rats?
Dave: To kill squirrels
Carrie: Why are you trying to kill squirrels?
Dave: Because I don’t like them hanging around our back yard

So is Dave an attentive gardener? Yes, certainly. But don't you sort of think he is bordering on the line of crazy old man? I mean - supplementing our backyard with silk foliage? Referring to squirrels as a reckless gang of teenagers looking to cause trouble? It is only a matter of time before our neighbor’s cat turns up missing or dead from the peanut butter concoction. Then you can add cat killer to the list.

There have been several times when we have been mid conversation in the house when Dave glances out the window and then takes off sprinting. I've come to learn this means he's spotted a squirrel on our property and is off to chase it, throw rocks at it, and/or yell at it.

As I watch him through the window run around like a crazy man - I can't help but picture him 40 years older, with a broom in hand, and robed only his underwear and black socks. Dave is going to make such a fantastic crazy old man. I love that these are the antics of my 28 year old husband. I can't wait to see what 68 has in store for us.


Chris said...

You know there is something that would take care of the squirell problem and would give Dave a better outlet for his energy, a dog!

Have fun on your semi annual trip to Hawaii. (If only life were so good to all of us)

Tania said...

I am SO using the PB idea to get rid of the skunks that keep knocking our garbage cans over (so the lids will fly off) and then tearing our garbage apart and spreading it all over the driveway (I'm not exaggerating - this happens about 3 times a week.)