I'm addicted to Chapstick

You know how sometimes you read something, and it seems really insignificant, and then it pops back into your brain in the middle of the night and you can't stop obsessing about it? (I'm directing this question straight at Carrie, although I suppose it's possible for people who aren't direct descendants of T.G. Lewis to worry as well.)

Well, that exact thing happened to me 2 days ago. I saw an ad for Burt's Bees chapstick. I half-heartedly tried finding the ad online so I could show it to you all, but no dice. It basically said something like, "Burt's Bees chapstick. Contains no petroleum (the oil you use in your car)." So at about 3 AM I got up to feed the baby, and my lips were burning. I slathered on my usual giant amount of Mentholatum and the whole time I was nursing him, I couldn't stop thinking about that petroleum. Surely it's toxic. And I use a SIGNIFICANT amount of chapstick every day.

I googled chapstick the next day... never a good idea for someone like me. I found this. So while I was mildly worried before, I found myself in a tailspin of concern. How many tubes of chapstick had I used in the past 20 years? A million? Even a thousand would be my ticket to breast cancer. So I gave it up. Cold turkey.

There's got to be a better month than March to give up chapstick... especially when your lips are physically dependent on it. Why don't my lips produce any moisturizing agents on their own? Oh right. I probably killed the cells that do that with PETROLEUM. So the wind has been blowing here and my lips feel like they are literally about to split open. I really wish I had seen that ad in JULY when it's so humid here I feel like I'm constantly wrapped in a wet, warm blanket. Not to mention the fact that Trav got back from China yesterday, and I could barely stand to kiss him hello. Even smiling hurts.

So yesterday I went to CVS and bought about 30 dollars worth of Burt's Bees chapstick. It doesn't go on quite as smoothly, or last as long, but at least I won't leave my 3 kids motherless.

One last thing: Mom, don't let Dad read this post. We don't need to give him a new fear du jour!


carrie said...

Wow. And I always though Dave was crazy to resist chapstick as vehemently as he does.

I'm feeling a bit smug b/c I have been using Burts Bees for the past 2 years...only b/c I like it. But what about the other 26 years?


liz said...

1) "no dice." i love that. zane picked it up off wonder pets and used that phrase correctly one day. my heart prety much jumped out of my chest and landed on the floor from cuteness. No worries, it's still cute when you type it, too.

2)blistex ? safe?

Michemily said...

I'm also addicted to chapstick, but it has to be Natural Ice. Unfortunately, it's really hard to find these days. Come on, Harmons, keep it up.

Smiths said...

Scary. Why is it that girls are chapstick addicts while guys never seem to need it??? It makes me wonder what else I use that has bad stuff....

Tania said...

I've been using only Burt's Bees for a few years (since the Body Shop stopped making their medicated version.)

Every year for Christmas Rick gives me a huge bag of them, and I stash them all over the place - in my bags, in the car, in the office, by the washing machine ... you get the idea. It's all to prevent me from constantly saying "Where's my chapstick?" I only like the honey or pomegranate one's - or in the summer the lifeguard one.

Gotta love that Burt's Bees!

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