The KBVN Office: Season 1 Episode 1

I have a client who lives in the UK. He is an only child, in his early 30's and EXTREMELY wealthy [not b/c of anything he has done]. He is a notorious procrastinator which this year meant getting me his final information late Friday [I've been hounding him for it since August], finishing the return and giving it to the partner who took it home to review Saturday, she dropped it at the office Saturday night and I came in Sunday after church to make the changes and email to him to sign and postmark by 5pm UK time. Disaster averted until Monday at 4pm US time I get a call from said client:

Client: "It's 10pm UK time, I am walking the streets of London, it is cold and I can't find anyone who can postmark this tax return today. What if I send it tomorrow?"

Me: "Hmmm, looks like an $11,000 late filing penalty"

Client: "Can I fax you the signature pages and you mail the tax returns from there?"

Me: "Sure except wait, our fax machine is down"

Client: "You have got to be kidding me. You have no idea how many hoops I have jumped through today for these returns. This can't even be a coincidence.:

Me: "Can you scan and email me the signature pages?"

Client: "Okay I'll go to my office and do that:

This got me thinking about other joys of my job. Below are just a few subject lines of inter office emails:

• NO MORE PRINTING TO THE 700!!!!


• PLEASE DON'T PRINT TO THE 550 FOR NOW IT'S BEING MOVED


• OKAY TO PRINT TO THE 550 NOW!


• Gift Basket goodies in the kitchen!! yum yum!


• We just found out that the front elevator will be down all day for a part replacement.


• AGGHH Clients are instructed to call us and we'll come down to get them.


• FIRE ALARM INSPECTION TODAY


• elevator is now working.....


• FAX MACHINE IS DOWN


• fax is working (maybe) now....


• PLEASE DON'T PRINT TO THE XEROX- WORKROOM


• okay to print to the Xerox- WORKROOM !!! THANKS FOR EVERYONE'S PATIENCE


• PLEASE DON'T PRINT TO THE 550 FOR NOW, IT'S BEING MOVED


• There is a client just relaxing in the lobby area, I think he may be a while :) Just a little heads up to everyone to behave!


• The client has left, everyone- you can be normal again


• Heat in the office…apparently there was a pump in the heating system that went out and they should have it fixed by later today! Hooray!


• Well, the exact time is up in the air, but I was told around mid afternoon?? Hopefully that means earlier than 5…


• Don't use the toilets!!! Water has been turned off in entire building!


• Toilets are working!!!!!!!!!!


• Did anyone request an automatic call back from "Log Me In" this morning???


• Barack Obama's Comprehensive Tax Plan attached


• Unexplained visitors on our decks


• Anyone have two AA batteries?

Anyone??? Anyone????