12.16.2008

The KBVN Office: Season 1 Episode 1


I have a client who lives in the UK. He is an only child, in his early 30's and EXTREMELY wealthy [not b/c of anything he has done]. He is a notorious procrastinator which this year meant getting me his final information late Friday [I've been hounding him for it since August], finishing the return and giving it to the partner who took it home to review Saturday, she dropped it at the office Saturday night and I came in Sunday after church to make the changes and email to him to sign and postmark by 5pm UK time. Disaster averted until Monday at 4pm US time I get a call from said client:


Client: "It's 10pm UK time, I am walking the streets of London, it is cold and I can't find anyone who can postmark this tax return today. What if I send it tomorrow?"

Me: "Hmmm, looks like an $11,000 late filing penalty"

Client: "Can I fax you the signature pages and you mail the tax returns from there?"

Me: "Sure except wait, our fax machine is down"

Client: "You have got to be kidding me. You have no idea how many hoops I have jumped through today for these returns. This can't even be a coincidence.:

Me: "Can you scan and email me the signature pages?"

Client: "Okay I'll go to my office and do that:


This got me thinking about other joys of my job. Below are just a few subject lines of inter office emails:



  • NO MORE PRINTING TO THE 700!!!!

  • PLEASE DON'T PRINT TO THE 550 FOR NOW IT'S BEING MOVED

  • OKAY TO PRINT TO THE 550 NOW!

  • Gift Basket goodies in the kitchen!! yum yum!

  • We just found out that the front elevator will be down all day for a part replacement.

  • AGGHH Clients are instructed to call us and we'll come down to get them.

  • FIRE ALARM INSPECTION TODAY

  • elevator is now working.....

  • FAX MACHINE IS DOWN

  • fax is working (maybe) now....

  • PLEASE DON'T PRINT TO THE XEROX- WORKROOM

  • okay to print to the Xerox- WORKROOM !!! THANKS FOR EVERYONE'S PATIENCE

  • PLEASE DON'T PRINT TO THE 550 FOR NOW, IT'S BEING MOVED

  • There is a client just relaxing in the lobby area, I think he may be a while :) Just a little heads up to everyone to behave!

  • The client has left, everyone- you can be normal again

  • Heat in the office…apparently there was a pump in the heating system that went out and they should have it fixed by later today! Hooray!

  • Well, the exact time is up in the air, but I was told around mid afternoon?? Hopefully that means earlier than 5…

  • Don't use the toilets!!! Water has been turned off in entire building!

  • Toilets are working!!!!!!!!!!

  • Did anyone request an automatic call back from "Log Me In" this morning???

  • Barack Obama's Comprehensive Tax Plan attached

  • Unexplained visitors on our decks

  • Anyone have two AA batteries?

Anyone??? Anyone????

5 comments:

carrie said...

I wonder who sent the email about goodies in the kitchen? ha ha.
Sounds like quite the crew over there!

Mark said...

my favorite inter office emails are the unintended "reply all" geniuses. There is also the girl who no kidding... sent a company wide email asking for a feminine hygiene product

sara said...

love it.

i will never print to the 550. ever.

Mom said...

Crazy!! How funny?

However you are so very fortunate to work with such amazing people. So kind and caring. Truly like a family.

And of course the view from your office of the Flatiron mountains, is spectacular, and the Pearl Steet walking mall great.

Mom said...

Crazy!! How funny?

However you are so very fortunate to work with such amazing people. So kind and caring. Truly like a family.

And of course the view from your office of the Flatiron mountains, is spectacular, and the Pearl Steet walking mall great.