Let's talk shoes

Yesterday I was unpacking Dave from our recent NYC trip. I know, I'm such a good wife. As I was trying to shove Dave's shoes into his minuscule closet, I came to the conclusion he has got to downsize his shoe collection. I cite the following examples as proof:

1. In 3.5 years of marriage he has purchased 9 pairs of shoes and thrown away 1 pair. He agreed to part with the 1 pair only b/c they literally fell apart at the seams. (Translation: I threw the broken shoes away after they sat in his closet for 1 year and didn't tell him about it).
2. He has 4 pairs of shoes that will not fit in his closet. 2 pairs he is "storing" in the laundry room, 2 pairs he is "storing" in the middle of our office floor. It doesn't get more annoying than two pairs of shoes in the middle of my office.

I've tried to get Dave to part with shoes before and have never been successful. So last night I employed a new strategy. I got all his shoes out (with the exception of his pile of flip flops, a battle for another day) and lined them up in 2 groups:

To Keep
To Toss

I thought this would help Dave say good bye as it would clearly illustrate:
1. He has far more shoes than he needs or wears
2. His old shoes are dirty and nasty
3. When given the choice of all his shoes, why would he ever select a pair from the "to toss" pile?

These are the shoes I propose we GIVE AWAY:

If this was a scratch and sniff picture, it would be much more effective. Trust me - you don't want this odor in your home.

These are the shoes I propose we KEEP:

Dave's initial reaction was to give me a pained look and ask:
"Why are you doing this to me?"

Finally I got him to commit to parting with ONE pair of shoes. One. His old, nasty, new balance, mowing shoes.

Are you kidding me? He doesn't want to get rid of the Dr. Martens that were worn every day of his mission, and haven't been worn since. Why? As he put it "I might wear them one day." He doesn't want to part with the Tevas I have never seen him wear in 7 years, and seriously people...if he tried to wear these Tevas anywhere I would have to shoot him.

So please weigh in. Am I being unreasonable? What shoes would you get rid of? (Bear in mind his closet is so small he has to hang his clothes diagonally as the closet isn't as deep as the average sized hanger).


dave said...

I don't get why there is some big push to make me get rid of my shoes. Each pair of shoes has a very different and important role. I am not asking anyone to wear my shoes.

Ashley said...

Dave that is pretty bad you still have your mission shoes! how long have you been home???

In Dave's defense... said...

The "To Toss" pile are shoes that you want to keep handy for: painting, camping, yard work, mud volleyball, swimmimg across the small lake at Wash Park, white water rafting, paintball, to tie the shoe laces together and throw them over a telephone wire,...need I go on?

Way to stand your ground Dave! I myself have about 5 pairs that Becky has been trying to throw away for years now. She will thank me when the day comes that I have a pair of my old shoes handy to swim across the lake at Wash Park. -Jesse

carrie said...

Jesse you are hilarious...you almost have me convinced.

So when Dave comes home and all his shoes are hanging from the local telphone wire I'm telling him it was your idea.

Jesse said...

Make sure and save at least one pair though. If you don't, I don't want to read about how upset you are with Dave for ruining a pair of his new shoes climbing up or cutting down the telephone pole!

Missy said...

I'm all for a few pairs of junk shoes, but can't you keep them out in the garage? Or in a rubbermaid bin in the laundry room or something? I sympathize with Carrie if their "place" is in the middle of her office floor.

PS. The new dress clothes look nice.

dave said...

In the picture titled "Shoes I Propose to Throw Aways" there is a pair of shoes in the bottom left corner that I have had since I was a sophmore in high school. I loved the shoes then and I love them now. I don't wear them all the time, but it is b/c I want them to last forever. Would you throw away some really good food just b/c it was old? I think I have made my point.

sara said...

those tevas have to go. THEY HAVE TO GO!!!

this sounds a lot like a mother in law you have in boulder, dave. she hangs onto about 35 pairs of jeans, 23 sweat suits that are too small, and 49 shirts for when she "cleans". i always tell her she only needs ONE cleaning outfit, and i maintain you only need one pair of junk shoes.

let them go, baby, let them go.

dave said...

Pretty soon you guys are going to tell me that my "Members Only" jacket is no longer hip.

Jesse said...

Dave I think those tevas would look great with your new work clothes. I recommend wearing that in to work tomorrow.

carrie said...

That is a fantastic idea Jesse. Dave needs to prove his loyalty to the Tevas.

Dave - if you wear them to work every day for week, you can keep them.