Random Garment Sightings

This evening I had the pleasure of going to an upscale Manhattan spa for a facial. It’s one of the perks of having a husband who does design... free services and product tend to drift our way. At every other facial I’ve had (all four of them) the technician left the room while I took off my top(s) and slipped under the blanket on the table. For some reason, this woman didn’t. She just commanded “take off your top!” and began preparing the mask. As she was Russian, I didn’t really feel like I could argue. So I took off my shirt and then decided to take off my bra, slip off my garment top, and replace the bra. I noticed her looking and explained, “Oh, this is just an undershirt.” She quickly said, “You can keep it on... wear whatever makes you comfortable” and I said, “It’s mostly just to keep me warm, but I should be okay under the blanket.”

A blatent lie, obviously, but I didn’t really feel like getting into the deep religious significance of the Holy Garment. And this isn’t the first time it’s happened, either. When I was teaching school in Chicago, I had just returned from Thanksgiving break. Being pregnant at the time, apparently I “popped out” while everyone was on holiday. My good (non-member) friend Stacey ran up to me, and lifted up my shirt yelling, “Let’s see your belly!” and froze when she noticed that my stomach was covered with tight white cotton fabric. I said very quickly, “sometimesiweartwoshirts” and wrenched my blouse back down to conceal my little secret.

What are some of the random explanations you’ve used for your garments?


liz said...

hehehe. don't you have a story about chasing Scout out of an H&M dressing room, or is that an urban legend?

I had a co-worked pull up a little part of my skirt slightly above my knee (in the nasty NY summer) cos she noticed something when I sat down. "what's THAT?" she exclaimed.

I casually pulled the skirt down and swivelled around to face my computer without making eye contact, saying "they are just under garments, like biker shorts, I wear them sometimes".

yeah who wears biker shorts under a skirt to work? nothing else was discussed.

fall said...

thankfully, I have never been caught "exposed" in public. or if i have, nobody said anything.

the only explanation has been to my kids, who seem terrified at the HUGESNESS of my underwear. "why are your panties so BIG, mommy", my little charlotte recently asked. "ooo...I like them that way." was my only response.