I've decided to sell some stuff on Craig's List lately... stuff that is taking up space that we never, ever use. This Radio Flyer wagon was one of the first things to go. No one has played with it for about 2 years... but it was the toy Nana and Grampa got Crosby for his 1st birthday, and the thing that helped him learn to walk.
I was surprised at how sad I was to see it go. I'm really, really not a person who gets emotionally attached to things. But this little toy symbolizes so much to me. For one, I kept it for so long because I had planned on having another baby after Crosby. I finally accepted that Crosby and his challenges are so demanding on my time, that it would be unfair and probably unwise to add another child to my life.
I also view this toy as a much happier time in my life. This was before Crosby had autism. Before my dad was diagnosed with leukemia. I loved where we lived... we had finally made the jump from Brooklyn to the suburbs and were surrounded by good friends, some who have moved away and we greatly miss. This was a very happy time in my life. I'd go back to that time in a second if I could.
What really surprised me the most was the kids' reaction when they saw the lady walk in and realized I was selling the wagon. Calder, especially, was very sad. I could see it all over his face; he hadn't looked at this toy in ages (even though it's been sitting 10 feet away from the Wii) but he was remembering all the good times too. He even said, "But I love that toy! That's the toy Crosby used to walk!"
But the lady was there, with a cute little one year old in the car, and was so excited to get it for him to practice walking with. And we really don't use it or need it anymore. And, we have lots of pictures of it so we'll never forget. But it was hard to say goodbye to the little red wagon.
Lest I leave you on a sad note, check out what's been hanging out in our living room for the past 2 weeks. Trav brought it home from work and the big kids (+Ezra) dressed it up. It's scared several people (mostly Crosby's therapists) over the time it's been in there. The weird thing is, no one seems to be taking it down. I see a Craig's list posting coming soon...
